Say Something
by CaseyCuervo
Summary: I again say goodbye and apologize for giving up on you.


Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Gundam Wing AC

Rating: K

Pairing: 1x2/2x1

Warnings: the end of a relationship

Author Notes: Inspired by "Say Something" by A Great Big World. I heard this song and that lead to this daydream landing on me like of a tone of bricks. Some of the lyrics are imbedded in the story.

Say Something

Folding my last shirt neatly in my trembling hands, I place it gently into my dark grey duffel bag. Looking down at my packed bag, it's fairly depressing that everything I own can fit into one single solitary sack. The sound of the zipper closing echoes loudly in my ears like a thundering waterfall. Dragging my eyes over the room one final time, I embed every feature, every aspect into my memory. I thought I had lived through difficult times, survived the impossible, but this is a whole new hardship in which I have no training to depend on to help me through.

Pushing my hand into my jeans pocket, the tips of my fingers graze over the cold chain. Withdrawing it, I hold it tenderly in both hands, thumbing the gold cross and reflecting on the significance it holds for you. The necklace makes soft metallic whispers as I lay it considerately on the wood surface of the nightstand next to your side of the bed. You gave it to me so long ago, a token to prove how deeply your affections ran for me. Now I give it back to you because you've given up on me…And I've given up on you.

Lifting my duffel and resting the long strap on my left shoulder, its weight anchors me down, the heaviest thing I've carried due to the emotional baggage it symbolizes. Slowing walking through the threshold I make my way through the living room. Everything so quiet and so empty. I remember when these walls contained the happy sounds of our laughter and love making, but they haven't rang with such cheerful noise for a while. Yelling and breaking glass succeed pleasure and ecstasy.

You've made me feel so small, so utterly wrong. I know you're not to blame, for I was no better towards you. We jumped into this too soon, too young and inexperienced. I knew nothing at all and neither did you. We were in over our heads. It's amazing we got this far, but the fights have taken their toll. Escalating from petty arguments to hurtful words to flying fists and black eyes. We stumbled from heaven and fell hard to the earth when we were just learning to crawl, learning to love. I swallowed my pride and you abided your ego. In hindsight, we sacrificed everything we could for each other, and it still ended up not being enough. I know that I still don't grasp the full understanding of that elusive thing called 'love', but what I do know is that we tried as hard as we could, gave it our all, stayed together much longer than we should have.

At the front door I turn to look at you one last time, but you refuse to meet my gaze and keep your back stubbornly turned to me. You're the one that I love, and I'm saying goodbye. It makes my heart crumble and disintegrate all over again for the hundredth time acknowledging that I do, in fact, still love you. But the pain we've caused each other has finally tipped the scales and out weighed my desire to stand by your side. There was once a time I would have followed you wherever you'd go. Part of me still wants to get back to you, but our falling stars made contact and have come to pass.

As I open the door and leave I'm dueling with opposite emotions again like I've been doing for the better part of this past year. I wanted you to turn around so I could see what you're feeling through those vibrant, ever expressive violet eyes. But at the same time, I'm glad you obstinately refused to watch me go, because I don't know what I would have done if I witnessed the emotions warring in your amethyst depths.

So I silently say my farewell to you. To us. It's funny that I'm the one to run and hide, return to space. But it's a need be. I need to lick my wounds, mend my broken heart, and give you the space you need to do the same.

Sitting in the backseat of a yellow cab, I again say goodbye and apologize for giving up on you. And though I know you gave up on me too, I've already forgiven you.


End file.
